uncertainTEEN

Lately I`ve noticed that things aren’t in the right place anymore,
I found it unusual. I don’t know why am I feeling this way again.

It was then when I remembered something,

back then I used to “WASTE,” yes you read it right, W-A-S-T-E, my money just to treat my friends anywhere/anything they want, I thought it was a good thing because I make them happy, which makes me happier. but then as time went on, they got so much dependent that every time we hang out it is I who always pay the bill and other concerns like jeepney fares and the like...

I don’t actually care how much I spend but the thought of being a FEEDER is totally UNFAIR, like

“hey! Can you buy this for me? I’ll pay you later!” -- yeah right..

“ammm I don’t have enough money can I borrow from you? Promise i`ll pay you!” -- borrow? :)) haha.

“ui! You have a lot of money LIBRE LIBRE LIBRE!” -- uhm, I just can`t say NO, now can I?

I admit I got all fed up, and for a minute I forgot about them,
forgot hanging out with them. I hate the idea that it is I who always act as if nothing happened and always adjust with their “gimme that for free” attitude that always comes with DEMAND and surprisingly they don’t even care if I still have enough money left for myself. Likewise I hate it when I always get left behind, the feeling of becoming an “UNINVITED” is sickening. It’s when you don’t actually know if they want you to go with them or if they think that you cant get up with their thing so just not invite you,

it gets me paranoid because I’m left with nothing, NO IDEA on what they want to/wanna do, the places they want to go, the foods they want to eat and many things to say bla bla bla. Ever since I`ve always felt this way, I feel that people just treat me as a friend because of what I have and what I can give which is actually unfair on my side. I never asked something in return considering the fact that I’m the usual MR.NICE GUY who at the end of the day always forgives and FORGETS and just pretends that nothing ever happened. Maybe sometimes I’m just so sensitive on things.
hope I can change a bit. =)

I wanted to share this story because I want CERTAIN PEOPLE to read this post and realize their mistakes, if they’re guilty, that sometimes being dependent on others is not good. But BOTTOM LINE I don’t have anything against them because they are my FRIENDS it’s the realization that matters for now!

Thnx for reading =)